Tyler Durden: WHOA! WHOA! OK, you are now firing a gun at your imaginary friend NEAR 400 GALLONS OF NITROGLYCERIN!
Marla Singer: I've got a stomachful of Xanax. I took what was left of a bottle. It might have been too much.
Tyler Durden: It's getting exciting now, two and one-half. Think of everything we've accomplished, man. Out these windows, we will view the collapse of financial history. One step closer to economic equilibrium.
Narrator: I am Jack's raging bile duct.
Narrator: I want bowel cancer.
Narrator: I got in everyone's hostile little face. Yes, these are bruises from fighting. Yes, I'm comfortable with that. I am enlightened.
Narrator: Hello? Tyler Durden: [Eating breakfast cereal] Who is this? Narrator: Tyler? Tyler Durden: Who is this? Narrator: Uh... we met... we met on the airplane. We had the same suitcase. Uh... the clever guy? Tyler Durden: Oh yeah, right. [Snicker...
Narrator: He was full of pep. Must've had his grande-latte enema.
Narrator: Tyler was now involved in a class action lawsuit against the Pressman Hotel over the urine content of their soup.
First Man at Auto Shop: Here's where the infant's head went through the wind-shield. Three points. Man #2 at Auto Shop: The teenager's braces are still wrapped around the backseat ashtray. Might make a good anti-smoking ad. First Man at Auto Shop: Th...
[after meeting and having sex with Marla] Tyler Durden: Man, you've got some fucked up friends, I'm tellin' ya. Limber, though...
Robert 'Bob' Paulson: Go ahead, Cornelius, you can cry.
Narrator: [being embraced by Bob at the group therapy session for Testicular Cancer] Strangers with this kind of honesty make me go a big rubbery one.
Narrator: Oh, yeah, Chloe... Chloe looked the way Meryl Streep's skeleton would look if you made it smile and walk around the party being extra nice to everybody. Chloe: Well, I'm still here. But I don't know for how long. That's as much certainty as...
Narrator: I wasn't really dying. I wasn't host to cancer or parasites. I was the warm little center that the life of this world crowded around.
[after giving Marla a breast exam] Marla Singer: I wish I could return the favor. Narrator: There's not a lot of breast cancer in the men in my family. Marla Singer: I could check your prostate.
Tyler Durden: This is a chemical burn. It will hurt more than you've ever been burned before. You will have a scar.
Tyler Durden: If you could fight anyone, who would you fight? Narrator: Shatner. I'd fight William Shatner.
