Ferris: Hey, Cameron. You realize if we played by the rules right now we'd be in gym?
Ferris: Hi. Do you speak English? Garage Attendant: Uh, what country do you think this is?
[calling the police about an intruder] Jeannie: There is an intruder - male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird - in my kitchen... M-my-my-my name is Bueller... [pause] Jeannie: Look, it's real nice that you hope my brother is feeling better,...
Singing Nurse: I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I'm the nurse who likes to...
Ferris: The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in...
Ferris: Look, it's real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off. Cameron: How? Ferris: We'll drive home backwards.
Sloane: The city looks so peaceful from up here. Ferris: Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet. Cameron: I think I see my dad.
Boy in Police Station: Drugs? Jeannie: Thank you, no. I'm straight. Boy in Police Station: I meant, are you in here for drugs? Jeannie: Why are you here? Boy in Police Station: Drugs.
Economics Teacher: In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the... Anyone? Anyone?... the Great Depression, passed the... Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which...
Ferris: [describing Cameron's house] The place is like a museum. It's very beautiful and very cold, and you're not allowed to touch anything.
Katie Bueller: I just picked up Jeannie at the police station! She got a speeding ticket, another speeding ticket, and I lost the Vermont deal because of her! Tom Bueller: I think we should shoot her.
[Ferris kisses Sloan passionately while posing as her father] Ed Rooney: So THAT's how it is in their family...
Sloane: He's gonna marry me.
[Ferris has snuck aboard a parade float] Ferris: Ladies and gentlemen, you are such a wonderful crowd, we'd like to play a little tune for you. It's one of my personal favorites and I'd like to dedicate it to a young man who doesn't think he's seen a...
Cameron: What'd I do? Ferris: You killed the car.
Cameron: Okay Ferris, can we just let it go, please? Sloane: Ferris, please. You've gone to far. We're going to get busted. Ferris: A: You can never go too far. B: If I'm gonna get busted, it is *not* gonna be by a guy like *that*.
Garage Attendant: You fellas have nothing to worry about. I'm a professional. Cameron: A professional what?
Ferris: Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to. Cameron: We're pinched, for sure. Ferris: Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.
