Shep Proudfoot: [beating Carl Showalter violently] Fucking little weasel! Fuck you! You fucking motherfucker son of a bitch! Fucking cock! Jesus Christ! You fucking shitbag motherfucker!
Gaear Grimsrud: Where is pancakes house? Carl Showalter: What? Gaear Grimsrud: We stop at pancakes house. Carl Showalter: What... are you nuts? We had pancakes for breakfast. Gotta go to a place I can get a shot and a beer, steak, maybe, not more fuc...
[first lines] Jerry Lundegaard: I'm, uh, Jerry Lundegaard. Carl Showalter: You're Jerry Lundegaard? Jerry Lundegaard: Ya. Shep Proudfoot said... Carl Showalter: Shep said you'd be here at 7:30. What gives, man? Jerry Lundegaard: Shep said 8:30. Carl ...
Gaear Grimsrud: You're a smooth smoothie, you know?
Marge Gunderson: OK, so we got a trooper pulls someone over, we got a shooting, these folks drive by, there's a high-speed pursuit, ends here and then this execution-type deal.
Cashier: How was everything today?
Jean Lundegaard: [reprimanding Scotty, who is eating and watching TV, paying no attention] I am talking about your potential. You're not a 'C' student. Scotty Lundegaard: Uh huh... Jean Lundegaard: Yet you're gettin' 'C' grades. It's the disparity he...
Carl Showalter: [on date with hooker] So, how long you been with the escort service? Escort: I don't know, a few months. Carl Showalter: Find that work interesting, do ya? Escort: What're you talkin' about? [quick cut to next scene, where he's having...
Marge Gunderson: Mind if I sit down? I'm carrying quite a load here.
[Jerry and an irate customer argue over a sealant that the customer had previously indicated he didn't want, after Jerry has gone off to pretend to talk to his boss] Jerry Lundegaard: Well, we've never done this before. But seeing as it's special cir...
Carl Showalter: Would it... kill you to say something? "No." That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's a... that's fountain of conversation, man. That's a geyser. I mean, whoa daddy! Stand back, man. Shit. I'm sitting here dri...
Jerry Lundegaard: I told ya. We haven't had any vehicles go missing. Marge Gunderson: Okay! But are ya sure? 'Cause I mean, how do you know? Do you do a count, or what kind of a routine do you have here? Jerry Lundegaard: [growing uncomfortable with ...
Carl Showalter: [voice] Three people were killed last night in Brainerd. We're in a load of trouble, Jerry. I'm comin' there tomorrow. You have the money ready by then. Jerry Lundegaard: [into the phone] Now, we had a deal. A deal's a deal. Carl Show...
[repeated line] Jerry Lundegaard: The heck do ya mean?
Marge Gunderson: [reporting over her police radio] There's the car! There's the car! Lou: What car? Marge Gunderson: My car, my car! Tan Ciera, tan Ciera!
Scotty Lundegaard: [finishing supper] May I be excused? Jerry Lundegaard: Ya done, there? Scotty Lundegaard: Yah. Can I go out? Jean Lundegaard: Where ya goin'? Scotty Lundegaard: Just to McDonalds. Jerry Lundegaard: Be back at 9:30. [Scotty exits] W...
Marge Gunderson: Well, I'm sorry, sir! Jerry Lundegaard: [storming off to do a lot count] Aw, what the Chris'!
[as Shep angrily approaches Carl] Carl Showalter: You stay away from me, man! Hey, smoke a fuckin' peace pipe!
