Kim: Edward, I was so afraid. I thought you were dead. Jim: [coming into the screen with a revolver] I didn't.
Kim: Why can't you do it? Jim: Because my father keeps the damn room locked. We need Edward to get us in. Kim: Well can't you just take the key when he's sleeping or something? Jim: You don't understand. The only thing that guy hangs onto tighter is ...
Peg Boggs: Avon calling. Helen: Weren't you just here? Peg Boggs: No, not since last season. Today I've come to show you our exquisite new line in softer colours in shadows, blushes and lipstick. Everything you need to accent and highlight your chang...
Peg Boggs: My, those are your hands? Those are your hands! What happened to you? Where are your parents? Um... Your mother? Your father? Edward: He didn't wake up. Peg Boggs: Are you alone? Do you live up here all by yourself? What happened to your f...
Peg Boggs: The light concealing cream goes on first. Then you blend, and blend, and blend. Blending is the secret.
Kim: [threatening Jim with Edward's scissors] STOP IT! Or I'll kill you myself! Jim: [Jim slaps her and kicks her away] Bullshit! Jim: [to Edward who is approaching Kim] Hey, I said stay away from her!
Bill: OK, everybody. Grab your plates. Soup's on. Edward: [with mouth full] I thought this was shish-ka-bob. Bill: What? Edward: [a little clearer] I thought this was shish-ka-bob. Bill: Yeah, it is shish-ka-bob. It's a figure of speech, Ed.
Bill: Well, this must be quite a change for you, right, Ed? Peg Boggs: Edward, dear. I think he prefers Edward. Bill: Oh, sure.
George: [to Edward] Hi, George Monroe. Woah. That's a heck of a handshake you got there, Ed.
Joyce: [to Edward] Don't be ridiculous! You're not handicapped, you're... What do they call the... exceptional? My name's Joyce, and I noticed that you have not tasted any of the ambrosia salad that I made especially for you. Allow me.
Joyce: [to Edward] Oh! Eddie, is there anything you can't do? You take my very breath away, I swear. Look at this! Have you ever cut a woman's hair? Would you cut mine?
Kim: [finishes her story to her granddaughter] She never saw him again. Not after that night. Granddaughter: How do you know? Kim: [takes off her glasses revealing herself] Because I was there. Granddaughter: You could've gone up there, you still cou...
[Joyce offers Edward lemonade] Joyce: Lemonade? [Edward pukes]
various characters: I know a doctor who might be able to help you.
The Inventor: I know it is a little early for Christmas, Edward, but; I have a present for you. [shows Edward his soon to be human hands]
Esmerelda: It's not heaven he's from! It's straight from the stinking flames of hell! The power of Satan is in him, I can feel it. Can't you? Have you poor sheep strayed so far from the path? Edward: We're not sheep. Esmerelda: Don't come near me!
Peg Boggs: Good morning Joyce. Avon calling. Joyce: Well Peg, have you gone blind? Can't you see there's a vehicle in my driveway?
Peg Boggs: Hello? Hello? Hello? Avon calling. Oh, my. Hello? Hello? I'm Peg Boggs. I'm your local Avon representative. Hello? I... I'm sorry to barge in like this, but you don't have any reason to be afraid. Ooh! This is some huge house, isn't it? Th...
