Amos Calloway: I haven't seen a customer this depressed since the elephant sat on that farmer's wife! Amos Calloway: [laughs, beat] Amos Calloway: Depressed? [Karl laughs] Amos Calloway: See, the big guy likes it. Young Ed Bloom: I just saw the woman...
Josephine: Oh, so this is a tall tale? Senior Ed Bloom: Well, it's not a short one.
Young Jenny: There's leaches in there. Young Ed Bloom: Did you see that woman? Young Jenny: What did she look like? Young Ed Bloom: Well, she was, uh... Young Jenny: Was she naked? Young Ed Bloom: Yeah, she was. Young Jenny: It's not a woman. It's a ...
Josephine: [the phoe rings as a pregnant Josephine and Will come home from the grocery store, she lays the bags down and answers the phone] Qui appelle? Yes. Yes, he's here. [she turns to Will and extends the phone] Josephine: It's your mother. Will ...
Norther Winslow: I've been working on this poem for 12 years. Young Ed Bloom: Really? Norther Winslow: There's a lot of expectation. I don't wanna disappoint my fans. Young Ed Bloom: May I? Young Ed Bloom: [Edward reeds the poem on the notebook ] The...
Senior Ed Bloom: What do you want, Will? Who do you want me to be? Will Bloom: Just yourself. Good, bad, everything. Just show me who you are for once.
Senior Ed Bloom: I was drying out.
Young Ed Bloom: [voice over narration] As soon as my bones had settled in their adult configuration, I set upon my plan to make a bigger place for myself in Ashton. Pretty Girl: Edward Bloom!
Senior Ed Bloom: [to Will] Your mother was never supposed to marry me. She was engaged to somebody else.
Young Ed Bloom: [voice over narration] I was the biggest thing Ashton had ever seen. Until one day, a stranger arrived.
Young Ed Bloom: [voice over narration] With my prospects few, I took a job as a traveling salesman. It suited me. If there's one thing you can say about Edward Bloom, it's that I'm a social person.
Young Ed Bloom: The biggest fish in the river gets that way by never being caught.
Young Ed Bloom: And what I recall of Sunday school was that the more difficult something became, the more rewarding it was in the end.
Norther Winslow: Everyday a new adventure, That's my motto.
Young Ed Bloom: You don't know me, but my name's Edward Bloom... And I love you.
Senior Ed Bloom: Truth is, I've always been thirsty.
Amos Calloway: Tell me, Karl, have you ever heard the term "involuntary servitude"? Karl: No. Amos Calloway: "Unconscionable contract"? Karl: Uh, nope. Amos Calloway: Great!
Will Bloom: We have to take Glenville to avoid the church traffic because the damn church people drive too slow.