Bruce Wayne: [Vicki goes to answer the front door; mouths] I'm Batman, I'm Batman.
The Joker: The pen, is truly mightier than the sword!
Batman: I'm going to kill you! The Joker: You IDIOT! You made me. Remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try. Batman: I know you did. [punches him again]
The Joker: And now, folks, it's time for "Who do you trust!" Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I'm giving away free money. And where is the Batman? HE'S AT HOME WASHING HIS TIGHTS!
The Joker: I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman.
The Joker: My balloons. Those are my balloons. He stole my balloons! Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those... things? Bob, gun. [Bob hands him a gun, Joker shoots him] The Joker: I'm gonna need a minute or two alone, boys.
Joker: As though we were made for each other... Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you beast, I'll rip their lungs out.
Rotelli: What's with that stupid grin? The Joker: Life's been good to me.
Joker: Bob, I want you to go down to the globe. Follow that reporter Knox. Take your camera. See what he knows about this Batman. And Bob... [imitates Grisson] Joker: Remember... you... are my number one... guy!
Bruce Wayne: You're a real nice girl, and I like you a lot, but right now, shut up.
Eddie: Hey, let's beat it, man. I don't like it up here. Nic: What are ya, scared of heights? Eddie: I don't know. After what happened to Johnny Gobs... Nic: Hey, look, man. Johnny Gobs got ripped and took a walk off a roof, all right? No big loss. E...
The Joker: I've recently had a tragedy in my life. Alicia... [lays the mask that Alicia wore on the table] The Joker: ...threw herself out of the window. Vicki Vale: Oh, my God. The Joker: But, you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs. [...
Joker: Hello, Vinny. It's your Uncle Bingo. Time to pay the check!
Knox: You know what they say? They say he can't be killed. They say he drinks blood. They say... Eckhardt: I say... you're full of shit, Knox. Oh, uh, you can quote me on that.
The Joker: Bruce... Wayne, n'est-ce pas? Bruce Wayne: Most of the time.
Dist. Atty. Harvey Dent: We've received a letter from Batman this morning. 'Please inform the citizens of Gotham that Gotham City has earned a rest from crime. But if the forces of evil should rise again, to cast a shadow on the heart of the city, ca...
The Joker: Gotham City. Always brings a smile to my face.
[the Joker sees a picture of Vicki Vale] Joker: Stop the press, who is that?
