Harry: It was the Titanic of play openings but with no survivors. No women, no children, not even Kate Winslet, all dead.
Tim: What do you think of her? Dad: I like her more than you already.
Mum: And what are your faults? I mean, little weaknesses. Mary: Well, I'm very insecure. Mum: Sweet.
Tim: So what do you do? Mary: I'm a reader at a publisher. Tim: No! Do you read for a living? Mary: Yes, that it. I read. Tim: Oh that's so great! If that someone else asking: "What do you do for a living ?" Oh, well, I breathe. I'm a breather. I get...
Harry: [Points at photo] That is my daughter. Tim: Oh. Harry: Have sex with her if you like. Apparently everyone else has.
Tim: Oh look! I've forgotten this. Jimmy Fontana, Il Mondo. Dad: Greatest record ever recorded by an Italian who looks like he's got a dead badger on his head.
Kit Kat: You're kidding! I can go anywhere in time and you bring me back to the worst party of all time.
Mum: It's very bad for a girl to be too pretty; stops her from developing a sense of humor... or a personality.
Tim: For me, it was always going to be about love. And that summer, I walked into the eye of the storm. Her name was Charlotte - cousin of Kit Kat's handsome but nasty boyfriend, Jimmy. And she was staying two whole months.
Tim: And so I woke up the next morning. Hungover. Ashamed of myself and not realizing it was the day that would change my life forever.
Tim: No one can prepare you for the love from the people you love can feel for them, and nothing can prepare you for the indifferences of friends who don't have babies.
Tim: Never trust a blueberry.
Tim: I know you've probably suspected this, but over the last month, I've fallen completely in love with you. Now, obviously this was going to happen because you're a goddess with that face, and that hair. But even if you didn't have a nice face, and...
