Archie: I Wendy- I Wanda- I wonder...
Wendy: You can stick this marriage right in your bottom.
[after steamrollering Otto] Ken: "K-k-k-k-Ken." You bastard. Hey, I've lost my stutter. It's gone. I can speak. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Otto: I love robbing the English, they're so polite.
Wanda: What are you thinking, Archie? Archie: I'm just trying to think of one good reason why I should take you to South America with me. Wanda: How about... because I have the key to the safety deposit box? [pause] Archie: That's a... Wanda, Archie...
[Archie has put his gun down to fist fight with Otto] Archie: I used to box for Oxford. Otto: Oh, yeah? Well... [Otto quickly picks up Archie's gun, and points it at him] Otto: ...I used to kill for the CIA.
Otto: You really like animals don't you, Ken? What's the attraction. Ken: Well, you can t-t-trust them and they don't sh-sh-sh-sh Otto: Shit on you? Ken: Show off all the t-time.
Archie: [to Wanda] How could a bright and smart girl like you have a brother who is so... Otto: [coming between them] Don't call me stupid!
Otto: Nice fish, Ken. You know what Nietzsche said about animals? "They were God's second blunder." Ken: Well, you t-t-t-tell him from me that I kuh-kuh, I kuh-kuh...
Wanda: I looked at the clock... because I was saying to myself... It's five to seven, where could he be going with that sawed off shotgun?
Otto: Hello, K-K-K-Ken's p-p-pets! [taps on fish tank] Otto: Wake up! [beats the water with a scrub brush] Otto: Wake up Limey fish! [to Wanda] Otto: So... how are you going to get friendly with this lawyer? Wanda: I don't know - I'll improvise. [Ott...
Otto: Shit! Fucking Limey cement.
Otto: [to Archie] You spineless bimbo.
Otto: Touch his dick, and he's dead!
Archie: You're going to shoot me? Otto: [in a pompous, English accent] Yep, 'fraid so, ol' chap! Sorry!
Otto: When you say "friendly", what are we talking about here? Cordial? Courteous? Supportive? What? Wanda: I don't know. Let's just see what happens. Otto: So, "friendly" might include actual... what, penetration?
Wanda: What about my tits? Otto: Does he get to handle them? Wanda: Yes. That's my forecast. I'll stand by that.
Wanda: Archie? Do you speak Italian? Archie: I am Italian! Sono italiano in spirito. Ma ho sposato una donna che preferisce lavorare in giardino a fare l'amore appassionato. Uno sbaglio grande! But it's such an ugly language. How about... Russian?
