[Furnace makes creaking noise] Mr. Parker: Hold it! Shhh... [Furnace makes loud banging noises] Mr. Parker: Aha! Aha! It's a clinkerrrr! That blasted, stupid furnace! Dadgummit! [Mr. Parker falls down the stairs] Mr. Parker: Damn skates! [coughing] M...
Mr. Parker: [Explaining rather sheepishly to Mother why "Santa Claus" brought Ralphie the BB gun] Mr. Parker: I had one when I was eight years old. Mother: What if he hurts himself?
Mr. Parker: [Going inside the house after the Bumpus hounds devoured the Christmas turkey] All right! Everybody upstairs! Get dressed! We are going out... to eat!
[the Bumpus hounds break in the house and raid the kitchen] Mr. Parker: Holy smokes, the turkey! [the old man arrives too late to see that the dogs already devoured the turkey] Mr. Parker: Oh, my... God! You sons of - ! [the dogs leave out the back d...
Mr. Parker: It could be a bowling alley! Mother: How are they going to deliver a bowling alley here tonight? Mr. Parker: They'll send the deed for cripesake. I didn't expect them to send a whole damn bowling alley.
