He meant everything he said, when he said it. But this is his default. And it won out. Right now you're depressed about one thing. Before you were depressed about everything. These are good times for you." "I'm afraid of loving again. I'm afraid I've lost my faith." "You haven't." "The trapdoor I have in my mind? That can go to those bad places? It's almost gave way again." "You know the ways to keep it nailed shut.