The naked truth is the naked truth isn’t naked—it’s wearing see-thru clothing. My duty as a nudist is to let people see I’m transparent.
My love letter had so much ink that it weighed as much as a bowling ball, but it was emotionally heavier. That’s probably why she bowled a 300 with it.
The size of your sighs tell how deeply you’re in love. How I feel is very much like a stressed and distressed midget trying to breathe.
I wrote you a love letter. I used invisible ink to show I was being transparent with my feelings. And also to hide my feelings.
Her smile energizes me as the sun photosynthesizes life. Our love grows daily.
A Toyota is not a toy. At least not a sex toy. However, my driving is both erratic and erotic. Tickets are ten dollars per passenger. Senior citizen discounts not available.
I match my pajamas to my comforter so I can disappear into sleep. I’m camouflaged into noonexistence, where I don’t wake up until 12:00 PM.
There’s sleep to be found here, and I’m going to find it—with my eyes closed. I’m like Sherlock Holmes meets Helen Keller. #Networking
With eyes closed, a kiss is genderless. Now that mustaches are in fashion, some women are finding more hipster love.
I was just shy of reaching my goal. My goal was to be more extroverted, so being just shy meant I completely failed.
I melted in my defeat like Victory Ice Cream. I brought along an extra spoon for you, because I’m a sharing kind of guy.
I put the hell in hello—especially when waving at my mother-in-law. If looks could kill, she’d wish she were Helen Keller.
People tell me I look like my father. I've never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?
Nothing is the best thing I’ve ever not worn. Also, nothing is the best thing I’ve ever worn. Nudity never goes out of style.
If I saw a hitchhiker wearing a tie-dyed shirt, I’d assume he’s been waiting for a ride since the 1960s. I think that kind of patience is groovy.
String several words together in a sentence and you have a language necklace. My I love you would look great with your favorite red dress.
I restrain myself from following orders—especially restraining orders. I’d like to remind my dad that my love is longer than 500 feet.
The goodbad news is she only stole half. The badgood news is she stole half. And when it’s love that’s been stolen, a hole the size of half your heart feels like the whole thing has been taken.
