Some dogs look like giant mustaches. I shaved mine off because it was barking too much. My love life has improved by leaps and meows.
The cat hair floated in the air like a sound vibration, and I plucked it like a guitar string. Sometimes I can be so musical I’m like a living love song.
Opportunity is not your opponent—it is your ally, but it’s hard to see that because opportunity is often camouflaged and hidden among danger and chaos.
Second place is twice as good as first place, when you’re competing to put another person first. Losers make the best lovers.
Is it better to be feared or loved? Loved, because people associate with you because they want to, not because they need to. We need to eat beets, but we want to eat cake. Be the cake of the world.
A no has a different frequency than a yes, and a maybe is all vibration, oscillating between no and yes. My favorite answers have no movement.
A tennis racket is a trampoline for a tennis ball. My favorite score is love-all, because that’s the right thing to do as a Christian and an Overpopulationist.
Blue skies, 77 degrees, and palm trees—I’m living the dream. Still, I could go for a nap, or a cup of coffee as large as my bathtub.
Sleep is fueled by no fuel. If I had enough coffee, I’d never have to sleepwalk my way through a marathon again.
I tried to mug a wealthy man, but was unsuccessful because I was out of coffee cups. I wish I was less poor and more pour.
I played hard for four quarters, and I took home a dollar. And with college being about pay to play, I earned my spot on the bench.
I held her gaze as I held her in my arms. With all that holding I couldn’t hold on to the moment, and it slipped past me into the lonely past.
If it’s the last kiss, we’d better make it last. I hope you don’t have anywhere to be, because I have the rest of my life free.
I spoke like a spoke on a wheel, as I went around and around without actually saying what I wanted to say. I was love flustered.
Knocking on a door is so violent. Talk on the door. Try to get it to open up through communication, not violence.
She asked me how I slept. Knowing she meant quality of sleep, I said I slept naked. It’s true. Ask any of the joggers who saw me sleepwalking.
I’m passionate about being compassionate. It takes a lot to give of yourself, and that’s why it’s such a gift—for both the recipient and the giver.
Spelling Bees are useless and unnecessary competitions. Before Microsoft Word and Google, Spelling Bees had value, but now they are all superflewus.
