I was asked a series of questions. I lied every time.
I didn’t know what to do. I knew what I to do. I knew what I was to do. But I didn’t know what I was to do.
I watched you roll off me and step away from the bed in silence, but when the heat of your body was gone, I wanted it back.
My skin hungered for you. You were warm, and alive, and in my bed, and I wanted you so bad I could feel the ripple of need on the pads of my fingertips, on the palms of my hands, on the skin of my back, at the base of my cock, inside my ass— I want...
I wanted to take your hand into mine and kiss it. I never dared.
I couldn’t make myself move from the bed. To reach for you. I’d known this moment was coming, and now that it had arrived I found I had no strength in my limbs. Only my voice. Only words. Asking you to stay.
That’s why I was calm. When you woke me in the middle of the night with your hand around my throat, and I thought I was going to die for bringing you home—that I had given my life to lie down next to a murderer—that’s why I was calm. Because ...
Not your distress. Never that. I loved— I loved being there. Next to you. The pile of limbs that was Us. Together in the same bed. Even if it meant waking up with a few new bruises.
The second day, I watched you suffer through one of your nightmares, but this one was worse than I’d seen before. You called out another man’s name.
They’d come for you, and this time they’d come with weapons. I was afraid of that. For you. But not you. Never afraid of you.
I gave you all my secrets, and you lost them all. You lost a lot of things. But the treasure of it was in the giving, not the keeping.
I’m nothing, here. A lowly surveillance analyst. Being the hero could have meant something good for me. Could have changed my whole life. I could have done it. I have done it. I sat there and I thought about you, instead.
You let me set the water in the shower, and followed me into the booth to stand there with me under the warm spray. You kept your head down, not looking me in the eyes—though if you were shy, I couldn’t tell. You had no reason to be. You know wha...
I loved you even when you forgot me. And—for a little while—you loved me back.
I know you’ve forgotten me, but I’ll remember you as long as I live.
