The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
Fact: The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.
Hotel Conundrum: The continental breakfast. What is it that makes continents so shitty at providing an adequate breakfast?
THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.
It is illegal to yell “fire” in a crowded theater. If there is a fire, please yell something else instead, like “Flames!” or “Smoke maker!” or “Bad hot!
Like a lot of people, I’ve always enjoyed commenting on strangers’ outfits. Unlike a lot of people, I now had a new megaphone to do it with. And, let me tell you, commenting on people’s hilarious clothing choices through a megaphone makes it so...
REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.
Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, muc...
