This Book Title is Invisible Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Love isn’t stackable and interlocking, like boxes or Legos. Love is like a one-legged man standing on a three-legged chair that is placed on top of a two-legged piano. I should know, because I’m the guy trying to tune that piano, fix that chair, ...

This Book Title is Invisible

The crickets sounded like maybe in the trees. They were pretty loud to be so unsure of themselves.

This Book Title is Invisible

I always wear my seat belt when I drive a point home.

This Book Title is Invisible

If birthdays fell from the sky like Saturdays shaped like saxophones, I’d learn how to play the flute on Tuesdays.

This Book Title is Invisible

I stand six feet back when meeting new people. And before they can step to me and extend their arm for a handshake, I drop down like I’m doing pushups, and extend my right hand. It’s friendly, but it lets them know I’m into boundaries. And unle...

This Book Title is Invisible

A smile, a smirk, and a wink walk into a bar, and the bartender asks them what they’ll have to drink, and I didn’t hear what they ordered because I was onstage giving an exciting lecture with a yawn.


This Book Title is Invisible

My information is based on yesterday’s newspaper. But that’s OK, because I’m living in the past. It’s always two days ago to me.

This Book Title is Invisible

I collect the most valuable thing in the world—free time. But unlike other priceless things, I don’t need a safe to keep it safe, because I keep all my free time in the past, where nobody can touch it—not even me. My collection grows larger eve...

This Book Title is Invisible

Your face influences your life, because it effects how people treat you. Sometimes you don’t have to be king to be treated like royalty—you only have to look like the king.

This Book Title is Invisible

Birthdays are like politicians. I don’t like any of them, but they still keep coming around.

This Book Title is Invisible

If a man’s a constant hand-shaker, he must be a politician or a crook—or both, if he is a politician.

This Book Title is Invisible

Some people hide behind rules and regulations to deliver sadistic punishments, as if they don’t secretly delight in causing pain and abusing their power.

This Book Title is Invisible

I practice karate moves when I think nobody is watching. It’s all part of being a real American badass, I guess. Chicks dig it. I mean they would, if they ever looked and caught me in a moment of awesomeness.


This Book Title is Invisible

He wore red, white, and blue, but he didn’t look patriotic—he looked like a sloppily wrapped birthday present. But it’s not his fault. I tried to wrap him as tight as I could without restricting movement.

This Book Title is Invisible

Of all the bars in the world, prison is the worst, followed closely by the ones that serve alcohol.

This Book Title is Invisible

A candle that smells like asshole would be an instant hit in prison.

This Book Title is Invisible

Shit goes out, and dick goes in. This is the way of the prisoner.

This Book Title is Invisible

Pick a number between one to ten. Now, pick the number that you think I picked you to pick.


This Book Title is Invisible