This Book is Not FOR SALE Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I like to pet trees—especially if they have furry leaves.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m like a tree frog when it comes to birthdays. Basically, my thoughts on birthdays can be summed up in two words: tree and frog.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I hear phonetically on the phone. Toiletries sounds like toilet trees to me.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If trees had love, instead of leaves, I’d gladly rake you into a pile on my lawn and fall into you.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

It’s possible that I couldn’t handle the truth, but I sure wouldn’t mind fondling it to find out.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Those who seek the Truth are logically in the dark. Therefore, if I aspire to be anything in the world, it's to be a lighthouse. And you, my midget sidekick, you can be my flashlight.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If you insist on digging for the truth, you can start at the cemetery. But not the one on the wealthy side of town, because I already dug up everything of value.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Stop a drunk driver and you stop a murderer—even if he hasn’t killed anyone yet. In all the alternate universes, the odds are he’s already killed—and will kill again.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Twitter—up to the minute minute details.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Twitter: Up to the minute details that are minute. I’d like to update and reaffirm my love for you every sixty seconds.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m an understanding guy, even when I’m standing over you.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Some people collect cars. I collect unemployment. Once my collection gets large enough, I’m going to start a country like the United States.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When two are united as one, I’ll be there. And so will someone else.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My hair isn’t turning gray. It’s actually silver, and it’s going up in value, so you’d better buy it before the currency is completely devalued.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m not selfish. I’d gladly give someone’s life, a more valuable life than my own, while I humbly preserve and keep my own meager life for myself.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’d rather own something that’s worth millions to nobody, than something that’s worth nothing to millions.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m not rich in paper money, I’m rich in packets of sugar. Actually, I’m richer, because at least the packets of sugar have some real value.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

A bird was shot. I suspect fowl play. The next man to be shot is the man who wrote that pun. Excuse me while I load my gun and shoot myself.

This Book is Not FOR SALE