This Book is Not FOR SALE Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Love has a glow, like a neon light having sex with a pack of hi-lighters, only not quite as quaint.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

For breakfast I want a bowl of sugar with some corn flakes sprinkled on top. Then I want to make sweet love to you.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I enjoy breakfast in bed. But not while I am sleeping, because that’s when I’m making love.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

With over one billion people, I’d say China is the best place to have group sex.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When asked about sex, she said she had a headache. I said I have a pill for that. It’s called a Viagra, & I’d be willing to take it for her.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

It was a dumb mistake, sleeping with her, and I learned from the experience. Still, I’d gladly make the same mistake tonight if she calls.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I used to want to be a missionary, but I don’t believe that’d be the best position for me to be in.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Last night my girl and I were knocking boots, but it won’t happen tonight, because earlier today I went out and bought a doorbell.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m the Director of Redundancy. I’m also the Director. I make love like I make love, and that is why I am the Director of Redundancy.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I thought she was sexy until I noticed she had a beard.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Sexy isn’t my middle name. Lust-factory is, with the hyphen.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If love tasted like pork, and you were allergic to Francis Bacon, could I be your Shakespeare? We could make love on a pizza and make much ado about nothing, everything, anything, something.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’ve felt alone, cold, and clothed in shame for too long. Let the sunlight be my blanket, wardrobe, and toilet paper.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I did something so stupid last night that I can’t even speak about it today. I took a vow of silence.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Silence is golden, and gold is up these days, so silence is a solid investment.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I would eat my soup in silence, but it’s alphabet soup. They’re all capital letters and they are shouting at me. I’m not anorexic or illiterate, so alphabet soup is like a nourishing novel. An anorexic should make a suicide note out of the lett...

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I said it unto him who isn’t, and he wisely said nothing. Sometimes saying nothing is saying more than enough.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

In complete silence you can’t hear a thing. Just ask a deaf person—but ask them with your fingers.

This Book is Not FOR SALE