This Book is Not FOR SALE Quotes

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My internal voice raised its decibel level. Sam O. Same

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If you can listen to or read anything, but misspelled words offend you, raise your hadn.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When people say they don’t read, I always wonder if they don’t because they can’t or because they won’t. Then I think, what’s the difference? Either way they are ignorant.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My advice is to write during commercial breaks, and read while your favorite TV show is on mute.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Before bed I do a bit of light reading. I’m reading a 50-pound book on midgets.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My grandpa never read the newspaper. Not because he was particularly optimistic, but because he was illiterate. He taught me to read by watching TV.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The rumor is that my cousin dates phoenix sculptures made out of cheese. It has to be true, because it's too weird not to be. Also, consider the evidence. He lives in Wisconsin and does not own a microwave. It's the kind of thing you wish to read abo...

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I read trash. Empty cereal boxes, empty shampoo bottles, the bottoms of empty Kleenex boxes, and occasionally even a mystical self-help book.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Even a broken mirror isn’t broken if it allows you to see who you really are—cracked down the middle in your duality.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I want to find myself as a person, and I’ve enlisted the help of my clone to aid me in this. It’s like finding Waldo, except I’m only half wearing the red and white sweater, because I’m only half-finished knitting it.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’ll watch the Final Four when there are three teams playing at once for two titles and one large bag of regrets. That bag is mostly full of air, like a bag of potato chips, only harder to chew.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I remember the first time we made love like it was the second time. We never made love again, and I don’t regret it for a second.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Getting a rejection letter from a place you’ve been thinking about is bad enough, but how shitty do I feel getting a rejection letter from some place I don’t even remember applying to? That’s like a homeless person walking up to me and saying, ...

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I went to Hallmark, but they don’t sell corridors there. I did, however, find a card that perfectly summed up our relationship. The card was blank.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Me and Ruth minus Ruth leaves me Ruthless—and makes me ruthless.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I find wisdom in the waves. Goodbye is a hello to a life without you.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I have women all over the world. In New York, London, Los Angeles. I think what they find most appealing about me is the distance.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Is there relationship insurance? You know, in case someone steals your significant other? If not, there should be.

This Book is Not FOR SALE