This Book is Not FOR SALE Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

The picture is bad because the photographer was poor. I took the picture myself, and you can clearly tell I have no money.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I ever see an alien fishing in Scotland, and witness it catching the Loch Ness Monster, I’d probably assume the world would want me to write a poem about the event, rather than take pictures of it.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I took some naked pictures the other day. I don’t feel shamed, but I do feel remorse over having to steal the whole camera to get the pictures.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If you need me I’ll be napping in the supplies closet. The most important part of an attack is the planning.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’ll steal the letter X, and replace it with treasure. So sex would then be spelled setreasure, but it’d still be just as pleasurable.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’d Poe’s nude for the approval of a dead poet. No names come to mind, but I’m sure there must be one I’d get naked for.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I were stranded in the woods with nothing to eat but nuts, berries, and the complete works of Allen Ginsberg, I’d eat the latter first, because at least the nuts and berries might be inspirational to my poetry.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Her shoes were so pink that if she stepped in bubblegum, nobody would be able to see. And my shoes were so brown that if I stepped in shit, you wouldn’t be able to tell that I had just trampled on the collected works of Allen Ginsberg.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I sell black markers on the black market. I am personally responsible for 50% of all truck stop urinal poetry.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I have a deep respect for shallow pockets. They keep politicians honest. 

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Not only did I not get it done, but I’m over budget too. I’m like a politician.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I watch my feet as I walk along. Left, right, left, right, why is everything about politics?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Hardly anybody tells the truth these days. For the truth I have to go to Washington DC, and whatever a politician says, interpolate the opposite.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Politics are like shoes. On one side you have the left, and on the other side you have the right. And every politician is essentially a shoe salesman trying to sell you one shoe, either the left or the right, whichever one he stands for. So I guess t...

This Book is Not FOR SALE

This is America. Every vote counts. Sometimes twice, if it helps me get elected.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I want to keep politics out of my breakfast. Politics isn’t something I want in my eggs, no matter how scrambled I like them.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I used to think that Satan and all the fallen angels were the most evil beings in the universe. Now I think it’s absurd and naïve to think that. Oh, Satan exists, but he’s a puppy dog compared to politicians and lobbyists.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Is it any wonder that war is senseless? It’s started by politicians. As a class, politicians have no class, and even less sense.

This Book is Not FOR SALE