I’m two quarters the way to having 50 cents. That’s right, I have one quarter. But I’m also one quarter in love, and I feel rich!
I rearranged the letters of the word “neologism” to make the word neologism itself a neologism, as well as an anagram. The new word I made? It happens to be the name of the spaceship I’m building: Moon Legs I.
At five in the morning, I was half asleep. The whole left side of my body was taking a nap. Seems I’m also always half in love, from my waist down.
My day starts like a regular guy’s. I wake up, drink raw eggs, run around Philadelphia, and punch raw slabs of meat. Wait, that’s not my story—that’s Rocky’s. I get us confused all the time.
One evening we made love all morning.
You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to beat me to my rooster costume.
I don’t like breakfast, because I like things fixed and slow. Let’s just take our relationship morning by morning.
He told me he had a wife and daughter, and then he showed me a picture of an 8-year-old girl, to which I said, “Don’t you think she’s a bit too young to be a wife and mother?” Fucking pedophiles.
Don’t kill animals! Kill people who kill animals! Those animals must understand that murder will not be tolerated! Also, the animals must understand that murder will not be tolerated!
Mrder—all I need is u.
The night before I’m murdered,” said the voice over in my head, “will be at noon.” I’d better write and mail all my love letters in my mannequin handwriting.
If somebody kills me, at least I won’t be accused of murder. Well, assuming all my clones have alibis.
For your learning disability pleasure, I’ll be playing a song backwards.
Yeah, I enjoy musical chairs. My furniture is deaf, so it gets rather interesting.
People should be heard, and music should be listened to.
I want to write a song called “Two Straws and a Spoon,” about one man being cuckolded by a milkshake.
Music has the power to shake society, especially if the bass is turned way up.
If anybody can appreciate fine music, it's me. I mean who else can hit multiple octaves with their armpits?
