This Book is Not FOR SALE Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I would rather save a few seconds than a few cents. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m saving them in your sofa cushions.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Employment: I’ll trade my time and labor for your money. So time is not money, because money is time plus labor. I spend my time saving money, I spend my money saving time, and I labor hard to not labor hard.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When you are the designated buyer, ask for more money than the item costs, so when you spend less people will be happy about you spending their money. Be careful with money—and with love. Don’t overspend with either.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Make your money make money: Buy a printing press and some blank currency paper.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Money, like a person whose first name is Money, shouldn’t be what you spend your time fantasizing about. And the same goes for goats too, you pervert.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

There’s bacon in my bed. Extra crispy, like the fresh dollar bills stuffed in the mattress. I make love like I make sure I’m prepared for the next financial crisis.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

What I want more than a car that goes from Point A to Point B, is a car that stops. I make it a point to break for love. My horn is broke—and so am I, but I get paid Friday.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

It’s not hush money. It’s simply dollars backed not by faith, but by shhh.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I launder dirty money. You should see my washing machine. (It’s filthy!)

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I had all the money in the world, I’d love seeing my name on billboards, buildings, and battleships. The only thing I wouldn’t like seeing my name on would be a credit card. Especially not while I am spending it.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I earn 10 dollars, I’m saving 11 of them.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

There’s money to be made with a name like Cash. I should print myself into popularity.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My clones will look like me, and therefore I’ll treat them like myself—starting with spending all their hard-earned money. You can’t love someone else if you can’t first love yourself.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I worked at a Laundromat, I’d steal money, and if I worked at a bank, I’d steal clothes.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My zip code is my salary. Too bad I live in 32256 and not 90210. Also, I lied—but only because the zip code 00000 does not exist.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I gave her all my love, because it was cheaper than giving her all my money. Now I’m in debt, and now I’m in debt. She had too much interest in me.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

She asked for all my love, and I said, “Sure, let me just go to the nearest ATM.” I wonder if she knows it’s all fake and inflated.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The Nike Swoosh looks like a crowbar used to pry apart tight wallets. In other words, it looks like a politician’s smile.

This Book is Not FOR SALE