This Book is Not FOR SALE Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I heard God in the silence. I recognized his voice precisely because it was inaudible.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Some people think nature is their God. I'd like to apologize to all those people for pissing on their religion.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

What I call talking to God, you may call talking to myself. Of course, I’m flattered that you’d think I am God.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

There’s nobody worth talking about, so let’s not talk about it. Only let’s do it anyway. I’ll make it up and then make up later.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m as efficient as a fish ant, I’m as mythical as a productive government employee, and I’m the kind of lover your mother would approve of. Ask her—she’ll tell you how good I am in bed.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

What do you call 1,000 government employees with no mouths or legs? More efficient.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Farmers don’t picket government corruption, they picket fences. Let this be a lesson in love and the proper way to separate churlish and state.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

He was cold and ugly, so I lent him my invisible cloak. He was grateful and said if I was ever in the area again, I should try to find him.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I guess I should be thankful. Full of thank. But what is thank? I can't eat thank, so I know my stomach isn't full of thank. I can't smell or breathe thank, so I know my lungs aren't full of thank. I'm not even sure how much thank I could fit in the ...

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When I was a concierge, I didn’t want a guest’s gratitude. I wanted gratuity. A thank you and a warm smile are always made warmer by a transfer of money.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

It’s supposed to be raining Thank Yous on Thursday, after an ingratitude draught. Also, you’d better enjoy my love while it’s fresh, before it goes rotten and I have to sell it to McDonald’s as chicken filler.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Distributing unsolicited You’re Welcomes, it’s a thankless task. It’s almost as if people don’t want to see me at 4 AM as I knock on their doors.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’d collaborate with my clones, because I’m a team player who wants all the credit.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Growing up, I went through an awkward stage. It lasted from birth to last Tuesday.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

To say that I grew up without parents is a lie, because I haven’t grown up yet. Also, all six of my potential parental candidates are still alive.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Is that a ziggurat in your pocket or are you just Mesopotamia? You should know I sell happy-to-see-me's & bananas individually or by the pocketful.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m sad that I’m leaving, but I’m happy that I’m going. The thing is, I am in love, and I’m going to be in love—but there are two people, two places, and one destination—in love.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Hard work sends your opponent a message. It says you’re not talented enough to win on intrinsic merit alone. I sent my opponent a message. It said, “I’m to lazy to edit before hitting send.

This Book is Not FOR SALE