This Book is Not FOR SALE Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I love how babies look like old people. I saw a baby the other day that looked exactly like my grandpa, only taller.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Sex and violence: the greatest duo since the Three Stooges.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When a guy at the urinal says to me, "If you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it," I like to look over at him, grab his ass, and say, "Shh. I'm about to cum.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I am the dinosaur of love. Specifically, I am a pterodactyl, and you are my silent “p.” Stay quiet woman!

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I could store any character quality in a cookie jar, I’d store patience. Chocolate-chip patience cookies. And I’d eat them all at one sitting.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Sometimes no words come as a response, only shapes spring to mind. But after you tell me you love me, I can’t very well reply, “Hexagon!

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If you were to ask me what’s under my bed, I’d tell you shoes. They’re brown, and they’re still attached to the body that’s been decomposing there since I hid it three days ago.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

We had a blast at my magical birthday party. There were midgets, fairies, glass slippers, and I actually got to ride in a pumpkin.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

In these modern times, the only sensible thing to be is nonsensical.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I spend all my time trying to capture the moment. And when I do, I'll interrogate and torture it.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If someone invited you to a flash mob, would you wear a bra?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If love came in a cardboard tube, I’d probably send it priority mail. But I’d make you pay for shipping.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m not opposed to new people, I just don’t like their packaging (diapers).

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m not interested in driving a racecar, but I would love to cruise around in a palindrome.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Noise soup. I just made it. Taste it with your ears.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

How to duplicate yourself: hang out with the same people and say the same things all the time. The you of today is a clone of the you from yesterday.

This Book is Not FOR SALE