I wanted “300” to be less about fighting, and more about bowling. At least they could have had the Spartans wear bowling shoes.
Most people fight with their fists. But I fight with my legs. I fight to stay, but they fight to run. Luckily for them, I don't fight very hard.
Johnny Kickstand bullied me in middle school. Today, Kickstand stands 4’7” tall. Well, he would stand that tall if he weren’t in a wheelchair. So he’s a cripple and a midget, but he still whooped my ass last Tuesday. Bastard.
You don’t need to have a fight before great sex. I can keep my cool and still bring the heat every time.
I’d rather be the fastest runner than the best fighter. But then I am a supreme coward.
To show you how much I love you, I’d take you to the moon and back. Or try to fake it in a film studio.
My rules are as follows: don’t follow, unless there’s a fire. And in that case, follow from the front.
I want to merge oven mitts with boxing gloves, so I could effectively, and safely, fight fires. After all, fire fighters make better lovers.
I am mad in love like fire, and I speak sushi after a night of fingernail sandwiches. Last night’s sex was so scratchy that this morning my throat is sore.
A flowing flurry of flowers fell to the floor when I fell in love, as if my heart were a garden that gushed forth and flooded her being with the fragrance of romance.
I have rose-colored glasses. The frames have thorns.
I like movies that keep me guessing until the end. I always guess flowers, because no matter what type of movie, whether romance, mystery, or horror, nobody suspects the flowers.
I’m nothing. I’m just a humble man in a bumblebee costume trying to pollinate with a woman as romantic as a flower. Love doesn’t have to sting.
The sun is a flower, and it burns my goddamn nostrils like the scent of love, which I haven’t tasted since I put on my midnight-black blindfold. I’m just naturally romantic, I guess.
I was part of a focus group once, but to be honest, I couldn’t concentrate.
A half a hole is the same as a whole hole, no matter how much love you intend to bury. Love is a treasure, and to keep it safe you need to do as the pirates did—and focus on the booty. With treasure, it’s not about the chest—it’s all about th...
I don’t eat Sloppy Joes. I eat Tidy Josephs.
Pizza is circular. So is an hour. I’ll take two slices—to go.
