This Book is Not FOR SALE Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

You might think there is nothing more patriotic than dying for your country, but I think there is nothing more patriotic than living for your country.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Some men want to go out with a bang. Personally, I'd rather not die from sex. I mean, what will my wife think when the police tell her?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Too many men have died in the name of old age. I know, because my grandmother was one of them.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If you have to dig to find yourself, you are probably dead.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The wisest thing my grandpa ever said to me before he died was "Stop!" Thinking back, I don't know if he was talking to me or the car that ran him over. I prefer to think he was talking to the car, because how could he be so foolish to try to talk to...

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I never speed, because if I get into an automobile crash and die, I don’t want to have arrived earlier than I was supposed to for my death.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Nothing is certain but death and taxidermy.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I moved my hand in and out of the shadow and pondered life and death. Then I put on my lipstick, pulled up my pants, and got back to work.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

-You don’t want to come out and celebrate with me tonight? What’s more important than the fact that I just got a job?  -My grandpa just died.  -Oh, shit. I’m sorry, man.  -Oh, no, he’s still alive. I was just giving you an example of so...

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Of all the ways to murder someone, slowly, over the course of about 75 years or so, is the best way to not get caught. Nobody, not even Sherlock Holmes, would suspect a thing.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I am cursed. Everybody around me dies. It just might take a hundred years for them to do so.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If my doctor told me I only had five minutes to live, I’d probably change all the clocks in my house, because they’re all five minutes fast and I want to know exactly how much time I have left so I can use it wisely.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I'm not afraid of death, I'm just not sure there is life after the honeymoon.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The whole world is dying. Just too slowly and naturally for my liking. Somebody should poison the food by genetically modifying it somehow. But even if that happened, nobody would be stupid enough to buy it—let alone eat it—would they?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I want to do something different, and make a difference in people’s lives. If everyone jumps off a bridge, I’ll be the guy who built that bridge.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I want to end my life by eating so much Viagra that I go out like that movie and Die Hard. If you want to watch, I just made popcorn.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My heart beats to the rhythm of the windshield wipers. I’d better never drive in the desert, unless I want to die. Our relationship has one too many cactuses in it to be deserving of my love.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

It’s a new subject to me, and I’m just starting to get confused. The middle is the muddle, and the end is enlightenment. The subject is love, and the end is death.

This Book is Not FOR SALE