This Book is Not FOR SALE Quotes

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I think a funny picture would have a caption that read, “Believe in yourself,” with an accompanying image of a wilting flower.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Her name is Faith, or that’s what I believe it to be.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I have a lot of faith. I mean, I believe I do.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I haven't personally met God yet, but when I do, I'll ask him if he still believes in you. I'm sure he does.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the e...

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The road to hell isn't paved with gold, it's paved with faith. Faith in a dollar that's backed by a belief that people have faith in other people's belief in it.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I've often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it's the one right after the next to the last one.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

On any job application I ever do, if they want my references, I always list the Bible.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I celebrate my birthday in ways not seen this side of the Old Testament. I celebrate my life like the Dead Sea, and my party is a BYOP (bring your own plague) event.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

You don’t need the Bible to tell you the flesh is weak. Just pinch it and find out for yourself.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My ex girlfriend and I, we had chemistry together. And right after that, we had biology.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I know sex sells. I also know gametes are sex cells. Her and I had chemistry together, and that’s just biology.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The birds fly south for the winter not because it’s cold, but because they have wings. Similarly, love has the ultimate flight pattern, and that pattern is plaid.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When all the birds and all the fish join forces, the politicians will be forced to chew on and swallow their own slimy, wormlike words. But until the time that the sky and the sea blend into one, I’ll leave my fishing pole in a tree, disguised as a...

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The birds bark my name, and I meow theirs in return. I may be a bit mixed up about life, but not about love. Or maybe I mixed that up.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I don’t want to adopt your ideas, I want to give birth to them.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Ever since the day I came out of the womb, I’ve had impeccable timing. For example, I somehow managed to be born on the exact day of my birthday. And I wasn’t even trying, though my mother did push me along a bit.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I haven’t the faintest idea how babies are born, probably because I fainted on the day I was born.

This Book is Not FOR SALE