This Book is Not FOR SALE Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I got my nails done today. I’m so glad that after 30 years, they’re finally finished.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Even when we’re old, I’ll still look at you with the same eyes. (Who else’s eyes am I going to look at you with?) My love for you is Louis Braillesque.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I am an uncle, though this is not a new feeling for me, as I’ve been one before. I’ve also been 2 through 32, and I turn 33 in March.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

How many birthdays can you fit in a shoebox? I guess that depends both on how old you are, and what size shoe you wear.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Women always want to look younger, and I always want to look older, so I could look like Pliny the Younger. As a lover, that would give me the best of both worlds.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I don’t want to ever see her again, because I want to always remember her as she was—young and beautiful. She won't remember, because she was 88 when we met and suffering from dementia.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Courage is a vitamin best swallowed with whiskey.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

With the money I spend on alcohol, I could support a family of four, assuming they are all heavy drinkers.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Alcohol is the motorcycle of beverages. Liver fast, die young.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

As the ice melted, we fell in love—slowly. I just wish the ice were in two glasses of vodka, and not surrounding our bodies.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Love is to beer as I am to drunk. And you say I’m not romantic. Shoot, I’m so romantic I could just puke.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I didn’t chug the hairspray because I’m an alcoholic. I drank it to style my throat hairs.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

They call alcohol spirits, because it’s the spirit turned liquid. Would you drink my soul if you knew I’d use it to get inside of you? After all, most men buy women alcohol so they can get inside them too.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

A drunk can't follow a line of reasoning, even if it is a double white line.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I share your bottle of beer, I’ll take the left side.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I breathe onto a mirror just to make sure I’m still alive, and to see how good looking my breath is.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My hands will get dirty holding your rose-like heart, because love is like gardening—it’s earthy and takes work to keep it alive.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I think eulogies are wasted on the dead. It’s the living who need to hear kind words spoken about them.

This Book is Not FOR SALE