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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

The moment I heard her name I fell in love. Of course I fell in love with the wrong name, so I made her legally change her name to match that of my love interest.

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I keep my love in the trunk. And I drive slowly over speed bumps, so she doesn’t bump her head around.

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Robots don’t make better lovers, but Roberts do.

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Watching two cows have sex is the most magical experience at Cereal Land.

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His last name was Morris, but I called him Mars, because it’s like he was from another planet, like Venus. He was a cross dresser.

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I put the men in mental. Well, me and my clones do. Alone I just put in the man.

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I’ll flick a penny to the dirt, and if I see one on the ground I won’t pick it up. So why is .99 cents so much sexier than a dollar?

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Everybody thinks they’re a prophet. They must, or nobody would get married. Or maybe at a 50% divorce rate, only half the people are fortune tellers. Probably the men.

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Alzheimer’s is the cleverest thief, because she not only steals from you, but she steals the very thing you need to remember what’s been stolen.

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The rivers are my memory, and I drink them at their basin and remember.

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I have a memory like a baseball glove, so please, don’t toss me a basketball-sized rumination.

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The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents.

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Price per man has shot up, because so many men were shot up that we need many more men.

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I threw out my sausage, and replaced it with a healthier penis metaphor, like a cucumber.

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If you want to bend your mind, don’t use a crowbar.

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Scars are proof man isn’t perfect, though constantly getting closer.

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I was so focused on my mistake that I made another mistake during the correction of the initial mistake.

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I’d rather coin a few words than coin a few quarters, nickels, or dimes.

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