This Book Has No Title Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

My hero’s hero is not necessarily my hero, unless my clone’s hero is my clone’s clone.

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I want a one-bedroom house with cup holders. I want to live in my car, and make the road my home.

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For me, it’s not about winning an award. It’s also about not even being nominated.

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I was honored at the awards ceremony. I didn’t get any recognition, but I was honored to be there. (Tickets were cheaper than I imagined!) 

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We all have to have something to hold on to, even if it’s our own torso.

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My answer is nope, so don’t even hope.

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The idea of a belt holding my pants up seems so 20th century. Imagine a world where your pants are held high by your self-esteem. But it’s a silly notion, really, because in a world such as that, nobody would even wear pants. 

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I am who I pretend to be, and right now I’m pretending to be my own clone.

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It occurs to me to devise mental tests on myself to see if I am who I think I am, but then I think, “I am who I think I am, or I probably am, and a test I conceive and answer about myself isn’t a way to test if I’m another person pretending to ...

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Love rules the world. Like a tyrant. 

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My stomach’s upset. I must have accidentally said something to insult it.

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It’s not true I think all politicians are morons. Morons are far too intelligent to be politicians.

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Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you, and 50% of my time with others, because you get 100% of 50%, while all the others have to share that other 50%.” This is the speech I’ve prepared to tell my wife in the future, when I’m spe...

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Before I make you boss, I want to tattoo “Assistant” around your asshole.

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The passenger door was wide open, nobody was around, and a purse was inside. Was this a trap? It seemed too good to be true. Temptation overtook me, so I reached in the car, popped the trunk, and closed myself in. Boy, the owner of the car was sure i...

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I’m in danger of losing my job as official scribe to my inner voice.

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The cool thing about unemployment is every day is Saturday.

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It’s better to err on the side of more, than less, except if you’re talking about killing people with the last name of Moore.

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