The Zombie Sheriff Takes Tucson: A Love Story Quotes

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Nothing says you care like sending someone a kitten.

The Zombie Sheriff Takes Tucson: A Love Story

The less one knows about meat, the more one is able to enjoy it. Meat tastes wonderful, of course, but as with the lad hawking hard-to-find wares at unbelievable prices, it’s best not to ask too many questions.

The Zombie Sheriff Takes Tucson: A Love Story

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. This isn’t correct. Revenge is a dish best served lukewarm or at room temperature (depending on the room) with a side of sauerkraut lightly sprinkled with pepper, a generous helping of golden brown roast...

The Zombie Sheriff Takes Tucson: A Love Story

When asked what profession they like least, most people will give the obvious answer: clowns.

The Zombie Sheriff Takes Tucson: A Love Story

Brunch is such an odd thing. It was created by fat, lazy people who were too lazy to wake up at a reasonable hour and too fat to wait until the next proper time for dining.

The Zombie Sheriff Takes Tucson: A Love Story

This is why it is important never to pick or smell flowers, and to always wear headgear when admiring them.

The Zombie Sheriff Takes Tucson: A Love Story

Really the only time men and women get along is when women want sex.

The Zombie Sheriff Takes Tucson: A Love Story

The toughest part about riding a horse is overcoming the urge to eat it.

The Zombie Sheriff Takes Tucson: A Love Story

Sometimes the thing one wants most is the very thing that will get him killed with an axe.

The Zombie Sheriff Takes Tucson: A Love Story