The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Idiot - A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has t...

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet of the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

PLATITUDE, The fundamental element and special glory of popular literature. A thought that snores in words that smoke. The wisdom of a million fools in the diction of a dullard. A fossil sentiment in artificial rock. A moral without the fable. All th...

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion - thus: Major Premis...

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

, n. - A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

RADICALISM, The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something he can see and feel.

The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary