I don't eat applesauce, but I do eat applause. I don't use a spoon—I eat applause with my hands.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouI have a chip on my shoulder. It's a nacho, not a sense of bitterness.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouThe letters of my name are scrambled like eggs. They should be sunny side up, like Dark Jar Tin Zoo.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouI want a job with a great deal of freedom, like riding on the back of a bald eagle.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouI rap. I also wrap. It’s a gift I have.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouI still have wagon splinters stuck to my ass, from when my high school coach made me ride the bench.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouFour walls don’t make a home. Neither does having a roof over your mouth.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit You