Yesterday I donated blood. It wasn’t my blood—I found it in a discarded tampon.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouI keep a human brain in my pocket, because you never know when you’ll never know.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouThe chair walked in the room like any four-legged creature would, and I sat on it like a cat.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouTonight I’m on Meow Patrol. Do you have a fur coat I can borrow?
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouDeciduous trees are trees that can’t decide what outfit to wear, so they change three times a year.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouErections are temporary, but child support is forever.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit YouKissimmee has the best name, other than Hugsburg and Fornicatesville.
The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit You