It's a strange feeling. Everywhere I go, I'm the first. Step outside the rover? First guy ever to be there! Climb a hill? First guy to climb that hill! Kick a rock? That rock hadn't moved in a million years! I'm the first guy to drive long-distance o...
If I could have anything, it would be a radio to ask NASA the safe path down the Ramp. Well, if I could have anything, it would be for the green-skinned yet beautiful Queen of Mars to rescue me so she can learn more about this Earth thing called “l...
How did I end up in this situation? I'm the district sales manager of a napkin factor. Why is my daughter in space?
Log Entry: SOL 118 My conversation with NASA about the Water Reclaimer was boring and riddled with technical details. So I'll paraphrase for you: Me: "This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?" NASA: (After ab...
Do you believe in God, Venkat?” Mitch asked. “Sure, lots of ’em,” Venkat said. “I’m Hindu.
Elrond,” Bruce said. “The Council of Elrond. From . It’s the meeting where they decide to destroy the One Ring.” “Jesus,” Annie said. “ of you got laid in high school, did you?
If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.
As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.
WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.).
I'm not talking about faith in God, I'm talking about faith in Mark Watney
Just three words? Nothing about his physical health? His equipment? His supplies?' 'You got me,' she said. 'He left a detailed status report. I just decided to lie for no reason.' 'Funny,' Venkat said. 'Be a smart-ass to a guy seven levels above you ...
In other news, It’s seven sols till the harvest, and I still haven’t prepared. For starters, I need to make a hoe. Also, I need to make an outdoor shed for the potatoes. I can’t just pile them up outside. The next major storm would cause The Gr...
They hate you." "Why?" "Cause you're a dick, Mitch.
Sorry for the delay," Vogel said. "I was required to make a bomb.
Problem is (follow me closely here, the science is pretty complicated), if I cut a hole in the Hab, the air won't stay inside anymore.
Space is dangerous. It's what we do here. If you want to play it safe all the time, go join an insurance company.
Conclusion: I don't need the water reclaimer at all. I'll drink as needed and dump my waste outdoors. Yeah, that's right, Mars, I'm gonna piss and shit on you. That's what you get for trying to kill me all the time.
The NSA?" "Yeah, they called and offered to help out. Same software they use for enhancing spy satellite imagery." Venkat shrugged. "It's amazing how much red tape gets cut when everyone's rooting for one man to survive.
