People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.
Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I ...
What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.
I would encourage you to make your own investigation of the one whom, as He died, prayed for those who killed Him: 'Father forgive them for they know not what they do.' That is love's ultimate expression.
