The Complete Calvin and Hobbes Quotes

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Reality continues to ruin my life.

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I'm cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification. -Calvin

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes