Sleepwalking is restercise Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

She likes her wine white, and that’s how I like my clam chowder. So chuggable!

Sleepwalking is restercise

I replaced my wife with an empty chair, so I wouldn’t be poisoned at dinner. And I’m still alive, so I’d say it was a genius tactical strategy.

Sleepwalking is restercise

He’s dead. I don’t celebrate who he was, but who he isn’t. He isn’t alive, and that is a great reason to party.


Sleepwalking is restercise

My ambition is as deep as your pockets. I’m an aspiring politician.


Sleepwalking is restercise

The president of the US is the leader of the free world, if by free world you mean the country with the largest prison system.

Sleepwalking is restercise

4 in 5 Americans disapprove of the job Congress is doing, which begs the question: Are 1 in 5 Americans retarded?


Sleepwalking is restercise

It’s dark at night, yet people still drive. So I don’t see why people get so upset that I drive blindfolded during the day.

Sleepwalking is restercise

Sales is the art of giving people what they don’t know they want, when they don’t think they’ll need it, at a price they don’t think they can afford.

Sleepwalking is restercise

Rather than demolish an abandoned warehouse, why not just cover it with graffiti and call it art?


Sleepwalking is restercise

Sales is the art of canvasing a field, framing a problem, and painting a solution. But you can’t go Van Gogh on a deal. You’ve got to use both your ears.

Sleepwalking is restercise

Snuggling is an art. And I’m no Rembrandt—I’m a cat. I am pure cuddling genius.

Sleepwalking is restercise

I had sex with a statue a few months ago. The sex was so still that I’m still wearing the condom.

Sleepwalking is restercise

I’m a disciplined author. My diligent daily writing technique is called sleeping.


Sleepwalking is restercise

Me and my readers, we’re on the same page. That page is one.

Sleepwalking is restercise

I want to raise awareness for platform shoes’ ability to raise awareness.


Sleepwalking is restercise

During those hours, I had zero social awareness, as I was asleep. All the joggers who waved at me while I was walking can vouch for that.

Sleepwalking is restercise

Probably the reason the NY Yankees want to move their farm team to Ocala is to recruit me. I am the Babe Ruth of farming.


Sleepwalking is restercise

What has keys but can’t listen to the beauty it unlocks? A piano.

Sleepwalking is restercise