Me and Earl and the Dying Girl Quotes

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So. If this was some normal fictional young-adult book, this is the part of the story where after the film, the entire high school would rise to their feet and applaud, and Earl and I would find True Acceptance and begin to Truly Believe in Ourselves...

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

let’s face it: Most girls are annoying. I mean, most humans are annoying, so it’s not specific to girls. Also, I don’t really mean “annoying.” I guess I mean that most humans like to try to fuck up your plans.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Girls like good-looking guys, and I am not very good-looking. In fact, I sort of look like a pudding

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

It is a universally acknowledged truth that high school sucks. In fact, high school is where we are first introduced to the basic existential question of life: How is it possible to exist in a place that sucks so bad?

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

[Earl, on liking someone] Because, honestly, the rational part of me know for a rock-solid fact that I would never, ever get with Madison Hartner. But that was just the rational part of me. There's always a stupid irrational part of you, too, and you...

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

One thing I've learned about people is that the easiest way to get them to like you is to shut up and let them do the talking.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

If after reading this book you come to my home and brutally murder me, I do not blame you.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

it's just never a good idea to compliment a girl's boobs. [...] "You have nice boobs." Bad. "You have two nice boobs." Worse. "Two boobs? Perfect." F minus.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

This book probably makes it seem like I hate myself and everything I do. But that's not totally true. I mostly just hate every person I've ever . I'm actually fine with myself right now.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

I am the Thomas Edison of conversational stupidity.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl