Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81. Quotes

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She said, “What?” so I replied, “What what?” She gave me a look that said, “What what what?” and I didn’t respond because I fell in love with her.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Love is meant to be taken seriously, like a joke.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

If you don’t know how to love, then any old robot or mechanical device would best suit your relationship style. In this situation, vacuum cleaners might make the best lovers.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I blew the love trumpet until my cheeks were blue. Then I paid 34 bucks for a taxicab ride home so I could admire my receding hairline in the mirror.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

To maximize love, I try to emulate an omelet. And I’m not just saying that to sound romantic.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

You know you’re in love when you reach out to hold your woman’s hand, without remembering that her hands are full because you insisted she carry all the groceries out to the car.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Love is tender, like the pot roast I’m keeping warm in my shoes.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Love is silence multiplied by noise and divided by two.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Love walked in the door like a dusty cowboy, and I looked that cowboy dead in his eyes and said, “I thought I shot you.” And his eyes never blinked, wavered, or watered as he said, “You did. You shot me in the leg. But you can’t kill love tha...

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I make love like I make lasagna: with extra meat.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I was rubbing the pieces of bacon like they were strands of a lover’s hair. Of course they weren’t, because all my exes had hair like scrambled eggs.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.