Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81. Quotes

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My love is fountainesque. Is your body drinkable?

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I tried picking my nose once, but I was too indecisive. I would tell you I love you, but I can’t decide if maybe I’m not really in love with your clone.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Holding hands with your lover is special, especially when that hand is plastic, and that lover is a mannequin.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

When one is two, it is love, and one plus one equals three.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I drink trees, and I pee beavers. I know, you must imagine that I’m an exceptional lover. And I am! (I’m imagined, not an exceptional lover).

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

My love for her is as nuanced as a Nancy, and I wish her name were Nancy so I could more effectively convey my love for her.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

My love for her is deep, like the ocean, only not so salty. My love for her probably only has as much salt as a bag of potato chips, though it’s much, much more addicting to munch on.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

From across the bar, I saw her see me seeing her see me, and I knew that she knew, and with all this knowledge and vision I figured it must be love. But I could be wrong, because it turns out that I need glasses.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

If life has taught me anything, it’s that no matter what you should do, you should love. Even if you’re in the process of murdering someone, possibly a politician, your heart should be filled with love.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I loved her like the sun raining down on my skin. It was all so confusing, because was it raining or was it sunny? The answer is that love is always both, and that’s why I prefer umbrellas over condoms.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

When I’m old and I brush my teeth and her dentures, I’ll smile because that is love—and that is disgusting.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Love is something you must work at. And if you can’t work at it, don’t expect the government to subsidize you. At least not until the Central Bank figures out how to counterfeit emotions.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I’d lick the water out of your bathtub, just to prove I love you—and that I’m not a cat.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

She got me nothing for my birthday. When I saw the empty box, I said, “Ah, you shouldn’t have!” I love a box full of emptiness.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

We made love sweet and gentle, like strawberry jelly. Peanut butter makes me horny.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

When I told her my love would stop her tears from falling, she started laughing. She laughed so hard she started crying. Damn. Double damn!

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Helen Keller, she just can’t see how much I love her. Also, she acts like she can’t hear my crying out for her. #WCW

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

A person crying is like a sponge wringing itself out. Love is better than a sink that turns itself off without you having to touch the handle.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.