Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81. Quotes

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I eat soup with chopsticks—and straws. And I make love with the surgical precision of a sledgehammer.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Let’s make love in the library—in the romance section.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

We made love like we made dinner. We had leftovers.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

The remote isn’t broke—it just needs batteries. Well, it’s the same with my love.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Love is like a tall tree standing next to a midget. Well, it was like that, before it just walked away, leaving the midget just standing there, looking taller than normal.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I want to merge running a marathon and doing a handstand into one action. It will look similar to how I’d make love to a mannequin.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

My two legs are like one pretzel when I sit on the floor. If only love were so intertwined.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

She wasn’t much for words, but she told me she loved me in other ways, like showing me her main superpower—invisibility. I often wouldn’t see her for weeks straight, and for her to show me the unshowable showed a lot of trust in our relationshi...

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I am Kid Awesome, I kid you not. But I don’t think making love is childish—or for children, unless you’re doing it for children (to produce them, not to entertain them).

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Love is a trampoline of the heart. It has its up, it has its downs, and I’m selling mine for $100.00—only been jumped on once.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Your leftover meatloaf makes me horny. Let us make love like the first squirt from a new bottle of ketchup.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I make love like Brett Favre threw his first pass as a Green Bay Packer—to himself. Obviously, himself is myself.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Love is the walrus I crayon with like it’s the Eifel Tower. I know, love doesn’t make much sense to me, either.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Love is a four-letter word. So is glue, only it isn’t as sticky. And I must admit, I still eat it all the time.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

There’s no room for love in my life. My car trunk is already full of groceries, a spare tire, and two kidnap victims.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I knew we were destined to be lovers from the moment she tied me up and stuffed me in the trunk of her car.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I wore a hat, to compensate for the fact that my pants were unzipped. When we made love, she asked if I brought a condom, so I showed her my tube socks. I brought two, for twice the protection.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.