Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages. Quotes

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I make love like hello, good to meet you. I would say hi, but I like to stretch it out and really make the sex last.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

I make love like I make sausages. And I don’t make sausages. At least not myself. I pay someone to make it for me. And sometimes I even pay for the sex that I’m paying someone else to make for me.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

A soldier wages war, and for what, minimum wage? I’d rather make love for free—or better still, get paid to have sex.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

I make love like Siberia, only with less heat and more of an isolated feeling.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Love is a speedy bird that looks like a fish. If you catch one in the sky, try not to drown.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Love is a cloudless sky, and I’m having the longest drought of my life.


Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

The snow covered the two hills like vanilla frosting on two breasts. That’s what I thought then, because I was in love, and ready to sled down the icing on a birthday cake.


Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Love is a fur helmet in a new sport called Petting, where physical contact is the object of the game. Even when you lose, you win.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

My love tastes like a raincloud. Best taken when suffering from desert mouth.


Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Improve your life by taking advantage of new technologies like bleach and a drinking glass. Show your love for the globe by reducing an overpopulated world by one.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

For every uneaten sandwich there’s an unopened sandwich bag full of baby’s tears. I’d give you a straw, but around here, those anal devices are rare. Also, I think I’m in love. Either that or I’m thirsty.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Taste my tears and tell me I don’t have the saltiest love you’ve ever licked. My love for you is like a liquid potato chip.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

When I think of you, I immediately think of someone else. That’s what I call love, and that’s why I never call you.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

I can’t remember if I’ve time traveled, because memory only covers the past, and it’s likely I’ve only been to the future. But that’s natural, because that’s where I store all my love.


Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Steal my stuff, but don’t you dare steal my time. It’s all I’ve got in this life. Well, that and a lot of love to give. Oops. Did I say give? I meant sell.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

My three favorite times are 3:33, 12:34, and the moment I fall in love. Unfortunately, I haven’t figured out how to set an alarm to alert me for the first two.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

She said her heavy luggage had wheels, so I said, “Here, why don’t I carry that for you?” I was in stupid love.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

I write sappy love poetry. Mostly about bleeding trees.


Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.