If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Cliff said he’d jump off a cliff, and I called it a bluff. I didn’t think he was bluffing, but I did think he should have accurately called it a bluff and not a cliff. Such is the nature of nature.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

A politician is a person whose brain is as jiggly as Jell-O, only not as intelligent.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Word of mouth—it’s more powerful, more convincing, and more audible than word of hand.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

He kept looking at my crotch, so I looked at his and saw he had an erection. That’s more flattering than any oratorical praise.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I always carry a spoon in my pocket. You know, just in case it rains.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Goodreads.com could be read Good Reads, or it could be read Goo Dreads. Of course, it couldn’t be the latter, because who dreads goo?

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I hang out with light people, because you never know when you’ll have to pick someone up and use them as a human shield.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Here’s a towel to dry your tears. I just wiped my ass with it.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I'm not sexually active. I just sort of lay there and slowly thrust.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

The wheel is man’s greatest invention, and as such, unicycling is the world’s purest sport.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

The cops came by and said my nemesis had been poisoned, shot, stabbed, beaten, hung, drowned, and subjected to Gilbert Gottfried’s voice at a high decibel level. “Ah,” I said, “so you suspect his death was a suicide.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

The longest 60 seconds in the world occur when someone says, “I’ll be there in a minute.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I have a container full of yelling I keep in my kitchen. It makes a great cleaning product, as it’s wonderfully abrasive.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger