I love Blue Ribbon Coffee Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

In a blind taste test, nine out of ten Helen Kellers preferred Blue Ribbon Coffee to Starbucks. The tenth Helen Keller, well, she claimed she didn’t hear the question.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

12 million Gertrudes agree—their name isn’t Gertrude. I know, because I asked them out to coffee, and only one responded. She said yes to coffee—and no to me.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I went on vacation and it rained like coffee drip brewing. It must have rained several inches, and all in a concentrated area about the size of a coffee pot.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

When there are 16 ounces of coffee to be shared by two strangers, and only one 8-ounce cup between them, then one man must give up his coffee, and the other must formulate an alibi.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I called her twice, but she didn’t call me back. She’s more efficient than me, as she’s able to communicate without communicating. It’s sad, because I had two cups of coffee, and I was going to let her watch me chug both.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I’ll start a threesome factory that also makes sex trees. How else am I supposed to grow coffee?

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Her cold, dead body was as stiff as a mannequin, but that didn’t stop me from asking her to dance. I was confident that even as a corpse she’d still have more fluidity on the dance floor than the cup of coffee I’d just frozen and stuffed in my ...

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I made dinner reservations for two, because I like eating alone. And I drink coffee by the bathtubful—but only while simultaneously taking a shower.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

If I were handicapped, I’d travel by horse. Well, that’s assuming my wheelchair would be stable on the horse’s back. I’d be a coffee addict and porn historian.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I am the Today Monster, and I’m hungry for yesterday. And I’m thirsty for coffee, which is like drinking tomorrow.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Growing up I was so poor I wore coffee cups as shoes. The good part was my feet never fell asleep.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

If you’re ever in a ghost town, it’s only appropriate to visit the cemetery. Also, ever thought that coffee’s steam is the rising soul of your dead sleep?

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

If the government really wanted to stimulate the economy, it should distribute Viagra and coffee.


I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I like coffee tables. I’m into drinkable furniture.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I told the joke, but someone else got the high five. That’s like me drinking a cup of coffee and a guy in a coma waking up. Go back to bed, buddy.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

If my legs get blown off in war, I’d like to have them replaced with a coffee table. Half man/half furniture, I’ll be in the living room if you need me.


I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I make love like I make coffee. Tuesdays and Thursdays I offer free refills.


I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Drinking coffee is like drinking an inverse yawn. I prefer mine with two spoonfuls of “I’m listening.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee