I love Blue Ribbon Coffee Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I’ve got two jobs to do. One of those jobs is to not cry. It’s not a job, but it is in its isn’tness. I could go for either a cup of coffee, or an empty cup full of sleep.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

She drowned in a coffee cup the size of a swimming pool. It really helped wake me up to my own mortality.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

His last name is either Groves or Graves or whatever the hell I wrote, trees or cemetery. We drank coffee like two people who should have been three.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I am Ebenezer Snooze, and I am frugal with my sleep. I buy warm coffee cold, so I can get a discount.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I prefer to urinate standing on my feet, rather than doing a handstand. You should see me enjoy a cup of coffee.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I make love like uh huh. Huh? Uh huh. I also make coffee, though you have to pay for that.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I eat east and west, and I eat them at the same time. But I drink my coffee north to south.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I’d kill every politician with a spoon, if I thought they had coffee for brains. But they’re simply not that intelligent, and I wish the people would wake up to that fact.

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I wear glasses. They improve my hearing, Helen Keller style. And I sip coffee like a mute orator on a meteor. Drink up the deafness.

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Love is a lot like coffee in that I can never seem to get enough of it, and hers is hot and mine is iced.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I would be out of town, but every time I move, my home keeps relocating to where I’m at. My coffee is caffeinated, and my friends are either decaffeinated or nonexistent.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I have a coffee table, but I don’t like it. I think it could use some more cream and sugar. Plus, it’s entirely too liquid to be a functional piece of furniture.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I’ll eat this world like coffee-flavored bubblegum. I’ll chew thoroughly before I swallow.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Coffee is made from beans. Burritos also have beans in them, although I’ll admit a burrito isn’t as drinkable as a cup of coffee.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I drink coffee the way other men put on their pants—only after they’ve paid the hooker.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

If there’s gold in it, then the mine is mine. And if there’s no coffee in it, then the cup is yours.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I just bought a bag of potato-chip-flavored air. I also bought a bed, but sleep wasn’t included. Thank God a cup of coffee is full of wakefulness.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Trying to remember a dream from a decade ago is like trying to catch fog in a coffee filter. I could subsist on morning mist.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee