I love Blue Ribbon Coffee Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I’m probably the best love you’ve never had. And why is that? Oh yeah, because I’m in a relationship with a tall cup of coffee.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I travel by foot. It’s like a wheelchair in a microwave it’s so easy to camel. I sleep on a pillow made of coffee, and I’d ask you to turn out the light when you’re done torturing your albino captive.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

You can’t put water back in a cloud after a rain like you can with a sponge. Coffee flows out of my penis, and though it’s less caffeinated, it’s just as drinkable.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Coffee excites my mind in ways not describable my words. The closest approximation is a sperm whale in orgasm, only silent and bubblier.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I soak my white socks in coffee, so I can wear them with brown pants and keep my feet from falling asleep.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Coffee is the only brown liquid I’d drink out of a toilet. Well, almost the only one, as I’d drink number two for the number one in my life.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Like Blue Ribbon Coffee, my love is in second place. But that’s OK, because like Blue Ribbon Coffee, I have winning taste.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I drink coffee with a spoon, and I eat soup with a straw. The clang of metal on an empty mug wakes me up to the moment and reminds me to love.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I invented scissors with wheels, so I could cut to the chase. Next time we make love it will be the first time, and I’ll bring a sock soaked in coffee.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

My alarm went off. My sleep went on. Dreaming about coffee is not the same as drinking down coffee.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I want to start a band called the Band-Aids. Free coffee for all who come to our show. We’d perform for the deaf and the asleep.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I use my windshield wipers when it’s not raining. I’m an umbrellaless pedestrian, and I can’t tell the difference between Starbucks’ coffee and a mud puddle in a cup.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Her name was Ashley, but I called her Ash, because she looked like the burnt remains of a cigarette. But she smelled like coffee, and I thirsted for her affection.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Coffee is for lovers. So if you don’t drink coffee, you must be asexual, and I’d love to study your mating ritual.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I’m 50% in love. To put that into a visual, I am a 3’ tall midget aspiring to be a 6’ tall man, with the coffee capacity of a narcoleptic camel.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I yell at yellow like I purr at pink. If they were more fluid, I’d pour meows in my morning coffee.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

There’s nothing I like more than rewards. Well, other than awards. I also love coffee a lot too. Being rewarded with a coffee award would be the ultimate euphoria for me.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I folded my map in half and used it to make a sandwich. Then I dipped it in coffee and ate all of Europe and half of Russia.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee