I had a dream about you. We made love the way mayonnaise sits in the fridge for months unnoticed. I prefer my hamburger with cheese.
I had a dream about you. We were both surrounded by poor people, but there was one big difference—I was poor, but you were rich. That’s why I was shocked when you tried to rob me. After all, I was one of many who voted you into power.
I had a dream about you. You were riding a walrus like a cowboy, and I was riding a cowboy like a cowboy. I waved at you, and you waved your lasso over your head. That’s how I got roped into buying a new car.
I had a dream about you. You wrapped the American flag around you like a towel, while I let Russia shower me with praise. The people over there really seemed to love me, probably because they are over there and I am not.
I had a dream about you. We were both flying through the sky like we had wings of cement. We had all the aerodynamics of a brick, but what propelled us was our love for each other.
I had a dream about you. I was a shoe salesman and you had no feet. I needed to make a sale or I’d be fired, and you needed reliable transportation. I suggested you buy shoes from me and for me, and in return I’d give you a piggyback ride. In the...
I had a dream about you. You whispered in my ear, and I couldn’t quite hear what you said because Beethoven was being deaf too loud in the corner of the room. I thought you said you loved me, but it’s also possible you said it sounds like a raceh...
I had a dream about you. We made love like two albinos in the snow. Even though I could see everything, I couldn’t see anything.
I had a dream about you. You were a hummingbird feeder, and you made my heart flutter as fast as hummingbird wings. When you dried up I didn’t know what else to do but eat a bucket of fried chicken and watch people in a factory going nowhere in lif...
I had a dream about you. We made love like the trunk of a Buick can hold three people. That was a great idea you had, hiring that videographer.
I had a dream about you. The sky looked threatening, and hail the size, shape, and color of boxing gloves started pounding us in the face. Luckily my mustache looked like Chuck Norris, and you were able to take shelter under my nose.
I had a dream about you. I think we made love, but I can’t be certain because the scenes were censored by the Moral Authorities. The thing that pisses me off is my grocery list was identical to the Blacklist, so I was starving throughout the sequen...
I had a dream about you. We were playing chess, and logically we were both wearing football helmets. You were winning, so I started to complain that perhaps I was losing because I was suffering from Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, due to the violent n...
I had a dream about you. I should have waited until you were finished eating to tell you I love you, because you vomited all over my tablecloth. But that’s OK, because it was multi-colored and brown and green.
I had a dream about you. Too many people died that night to count. Still, I had to provide the Minister of Numbers with a rough estimate. The number I told him was two, and that number may be off by one or two people. In the dream, nobody could find ...
I had a dream about you. I ran a marathon like a mannequin stands still, and you stood still like Roger Bannister runs errands.
I had a dream about you. You looked like Hulk Hogan’s nose, and your legs looked like his mustache. I admired them and wondered how many squats you could do. Your mustache could probably run a marathon, while my mustache looks like a ghost.
I had a dream about you. We were in a kitchen shaped like Italy, and we were making burritos for homeless houses. We should do more things like that, and really make a difference indifferently.
