Jacksonville has more sex offenders than any city since Sodom. Or Gomorrah. Actually, I may be mistaken. I always confuse sex offender with politician.
In Jacksonville, people respect people. Rodney Dangerfield would have loved it here.
Jacksonville is home to the most romantic man in the known universe. And it will be for some time, until I either move away, or my clone arrives to challenge me for my title.
The first permanent structure in Jacksonville was a school/saloon. It was built by the Irish.
Jacksonville's unofficial moniker is "The Latex Capital of the Universe." But we don't wear condoms—we wear rubber gloves. We have the safest handshakes in the world.
Jacksonville was recently listed as “The most attractive city to commit suicide in” by the magazine “Razorblades and Cyanide.” That should come as no surprise, as we have seven bridges from which to jump from.
Jacksonville has sunny days 80% of the year. That’s probably why 20% of my body is always untanned. Who knew that the fraction 20% is shaped like a Speedo?
Ponce de Leon was the first to explore Jacksonville in the year 1898. People mistakenly think it was the year 1513, but the truth is his watch was slow by a few hundred years.
Water is central to Jacksonville, and natives think of rivers as roads. Why, just the other day I was driving on the interstate, and I was being tailgated by a lunatic in a canoe. So I slammed on my breaks, hopped out of my boat, and threatened to sp...
