What is it with these people? They are more obsessed with me finding a girlfriend than I am. "He's concentrating on his studies," says Mum proudly. "Ah," says Mr Coles. "I should've done that, but at his age I was out on the town, living it up. Best days of my life, they were." "Oh yes, mine too," says Mum with a weird twinkle in her eye. I wonder how easy it is to kill two people with a screwdriver and a bag of half-frozen peas.