Obelmäker. Ridley Obelmäker, to be precise. Fearful. Subservient. Bald. A loner (although married) with addictions to television (mainly imported, uber-English costume dramas), online pornography (his most depressing foray into sexual cyberspace involved a goat, but whenever the image arises, he desperately tries to wipe it), strong cigarettes (Marlboro only) and cheap red wine (brand unimportant). His wife, Gertrude, a woman with squirrel’s tails for eyebrows and crushingly strong teeth, started calling him, “die Schwachen ein,” – – after he cried like a child when he sliced two, thin strips of skin off his own index finger using a cheese grater (accidentally) one night when sleepy-drunk.